YellowJeep is being a Bitch!

She's an older girl, but I'll torque wrench her into shape,,,

Ash Wednesday

Hail, or hale, or halle, whatever...it's storming up on the Sekret Mt. Hideaway

It always seems to turn out this way. "Load up on guns and leave your friends"

Round and around again.. losing my Girls..I've way too much experience with that. I wish it was a flat earth I could step off of...there's a bullet somewhere.

I hope this works... It rarely does,

4 years? Really? Testing one two three...

Dude...WTF...LOL...WUT?

U.S. Airways Flight 1549...what really happened

US Airways Flight 1549 Cockpit Voice Recorder

SIC: "Number two's gone, boss."

Sully: "I know it! What do I look like, a Predator pilot? Just shut the
f*cker down, boy. Oh, and tell Departure that we need to come back in and
land. F*cking birds..."

SIC: "Sheesh, somebody got up on the wrong side of his throne this
morning. Oh, and by the way, sir, we're not climbing, if you even care.
Maybe your decision to take on that extra 5,000 pounds of fuel wasn't so
hot, Captain."

Sully: "One more comment like that and I'll make sure the union keeps you
in RJ's for the rest of your miserable, short career."



Sully: "SON OF A BITCH!"

SIC: "Number one's failing, boss."

Sully: "I can see that! Am I a-f*cking-sleep? Can I not read the gauges?
Am I not flying the plane here?"

SIC: "I'm just sayin'..."

Sully: "Goddamn Canadians, sending their f*cking geese down here every
winter. Why, if I ever *see* another Canadian I'm gonna punch him right in
the throat. I *HATE* Canadians."

SIC: "Everybody does, boss. Think we can make Teterboro or straight-in to
22 at Newark?"

Sully: "Yeah, probably. But f*ck Teterboro! Let's go to Newark. I've
flown out of Teterboro. Short damn runways...always a crosswind. And
their FBO's suck. I'd rather land in the Hudson f*cking river than land at
Teterboro. Hey...."

SIC: "You're not..."

Sully: "Why not? Maybe we can take out some sailboats with some prick
Canadian snowbirds."

SIC: "You ever land on the water before?"

Sully: "Plenty of times! I got my seaplane rating back in 1946. I think
it was in a...Piper...somethingoranother, I forget. Never mind. It'll all
come back to me. Pull out the Before Water Landing checklist and run it."

SIC: (flipping through the stack of checklists) "Can't seem to find one for
that."

Sully: "Fooled ya! HAH! There ain't one! Just get on the horn and tell
the people to put their heads between their legs and kiss...no wait, that
won't sound good on on the CVR tape... make it 'brace for impact.' Yeah,
that's better. No wait! Tell them that out the left side of the plane
they can see the Intrepid Museum, and that if they'd like to visit it,
they'll be able to, this afternoon, like, in about twenty minutes. Oh, and
ring the stews and have them bring me a rum and coke. If I'm gonna do
this, I need a good stiff drink. And have that one with the big tits bring
it up. If I'm gonna die, I wanna die drunk and with a boner."

SIC: "Like your grandfather did?"

Sully: "This is no time to make jokes, son. I would really appreciate it
if you'd try to take this situation seriously. I'm fairly certain that my
grandfather did not die with a boner. I mean, have you ever met my
grandmother?"

SIC: "You know, if you pull this off CNN will be calling you the Hero
Pilot of the Year."

Sully: "F*ck CNN. Liberal bastards. All I care about is what the
fair-and-balanced Fox News will call me. I hope Fox News calls me a hero!"

SIC: (sighing) "They probably will too. Nobody will remember *my* name.
It'll be 'Sully this'...and, 'Sully that.' 'Captain Sully, the big f*cking
hero.' Like you are the only f*cking one in the cockpit."

Sully: "You're quite bitter. You really are a helicopter pilot at heart,
aren't you? You know, some pilots wait their whole career to be called a
hero. I mean, Christ, I've only got two years to go to retirement. That
was close!"

SIC: "We're not down yet, Captain Skygod."

Sully: "I know, this thing glides pretty well, huh? Dammit, no sailboats.
Oh well, let's see if we can buzz one of those damn sightseeing
helicopters. What's best-glide/engines out?"

SIC: "Beats the sh*t outta me."

Sully: "Vref?"

SIC: "F*ck if I know."

Sully: "Britney Spears' birthday?"

SIC: "December 2, 1981."

Sully: "Well, I'm glad you know SOMETHING! Just gimme full flaps..."

[END OF RECORDING]

Breakfast in Kalifornia...

Could we have kippers for breakfast

Mummy dear, Mummy dear

They got to have 'em in Texas

Cos everyone's a millionaire

I'm a winner, I'm a sinner

Do you want my autograph

I'm a loser, what a joker

I'm playing my jokes upon you

While there's nothing better to do

Don't you look at my girlfriend

She's the only one I got

Not much of a girlfriend

Never seem to get a lot

Take a jumbo cross the water

Like to see America

See the girls in California

I'm hoping it's going to come true

But there's not a lot I can do

SCHOOL -- 1959 vs. 2009

Scenario :

Jack goes rabbit shooting before school,

pulls into school parking lot with rifle in gun rack.

1959 - Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack's rifle,

goes to his car and gets his rifle & chats with Jack about guns.

2009 - School goes into lock down, Star Force called, Jack hauled off to jail

and never sees his ute or gun again. Counsellors called in

for traumatized students and teachers.

Scenario:

Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.

1959 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins.

Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.

2009 - Police called, SWAT team arrives, arrests Johnny and Mark.

Charge them with assault, both expelled even though Johnny started it.



Scenario:

Robbie won't be still in class, disrupts other students.

1959 - Robbie sent to office and given 6 of the best by the Principal.

Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.

2009 - Robbie given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie.

Tested for ADD.. School gets extra money from state

because Robbie has a disability.



Scenario :

Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car

and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.

1959 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal,

goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.

2009 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse.

Billy removed to foster care and joins a gang.

State psychologist tells Billy's sister that she remembers

being abused herself and their dad goes to prison.

Billy's mom has affair with psychologist.



Scenario :

Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.

1959 - Mark gets glass of water from Principal to take aspirin with.

2009 - Police called, Mark expelled from school for drug violations.

Car searched for drugs and weapons.

Scenario :

Pedro fails high school English.

1959 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English and goes to college.

2009 - Pedro's cause is taken up by state.

Newspaper articles appear nationally

explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist.

AFRE files class action lawsuit against state school system

and Pedro's English teacher. English banned from core curriculum.

Pedro given diploma anyway but ends up

mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.

Scenario :

Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from 4th of July,

puts them in a model airplane paint bottle, blows up a bullant nest.

1959 - Ants die.

2009- Star Force, Federal Police & Anti-terrorism Squad called.

Johnny charged with domestic terrorism, Feds investigate parents,

siblings removed from home, computers confiscated,

Johnny's Dad goes on a terror watch list

and is never allowed to fly again.

Scenario :

Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee.

He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him.

1959 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.

2009 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job.

She faces 3 years in Prison.

Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy.