There are naked Hippies with machine guns guarding the fucking oak tree

Nobody believes me. That tree is still there. It's not only dirty, it's EVIL. It taunts me often now.
This morning I sharpened my orange tree killing thingy. I went outside...only to find that the evil tree had summoned up demons from Hell.
Naked Hippies with Machine Guns
They were guarding the tree.
Don't scare me none.
I'm stocking up on 7.62mm armour piercing ammo and Thorizine