Aircraft safety.......
I'm continually amused watching the various news outlets discuss anything aviation related. Case in point, a British Airways triple 7 pranged somewhat hard this morning. Reading through the various 'expert' opinions is amusing.
For those familiar, there is always a 'witness' who will report 'something on fire' before a crash. In keeping in the spirit, here's my take on this morning...Nothing like being the first to know!
Several experts have narrowed the cause of the crash/not crash/short landing/kinda like a crash,but different as being a birdstrike-act of terror-pilot error-windshear induced explosion of a shoe bomb, fire, electrical failure, act of god,allah,buddah,flying spaghetti monster (insert one). CNN has confirmed that the pilot was drunk and had several hookers in the cockpit during landing, while the BBC has announced the aircrew have been awarded MBEs and distinguished flying crosses personally by the queen for their heroic actions in wrestling the huge plane to the ground, while narrowly missing a schoolyard full of disabled Albanian midget orphans.
Continued:
UPI has just announced that Bono will be doing a benefit concert for the dead seagulls that were ingested by the nature hating RRoyce engines of the doomed plane. Britney Spears publicist is downplaying rumors that a passenger in 34F had been stalking the poptart for years, and that may somehow be related to the crash.
It is notable that several witnesses have described the accident with amazing similarity.....such as this fellow, Bruce, a punter from Newcastle: "i seen the Airbus upside down wit flames coming outta both motors". "There was bodies raining down as I watched that big Iranian missile just tear into that poor airplane"
"It was 'orrible" "Poor bastards never had a chance!"
"I blame Tony Blair" commented one onlooker. When politely informed that PM Blair had actually resigned months ago she was heard to retort: " Well, my brother in law works for British Airways and they're investigating a link between the crash and the uber-secret multi-nationalist cabal know as the Illuminati". "Either way" she continued, "they should just close that dangerous airport"
For those familiar, there is always a 'witness' who will report 'something on fire' before a crash. In keeping in the spirit, here's my take on this morning...Nothing like being the first to know!
Several experts have narrowed the cause of the crash/not crash/short landing/kinda like a crash,but different as being a birdstrike-act of terror-pilot error-windshear induced explosion of a shoe bomb, fire, electrical failure, act of god,allah,buddah,flying spaghetti monster (insert one). CNN has confirmed that the pilot was drunk and had several hookers in the cockpit during landing, while the BBC has announced the aircrew have been awarded MBEs and distinguished flying crosses personally by the queen for their heroic actions in wrestling the huge plane to the ground, while narrowly missing a schoolyard full of disabled Albanian midget orphans.
Continued:
UPI has just announced that Bono will be doing a benefit concert for the dead seagulls that were ingested by the nature hating RRoyce engines of the doomed plane. Britney Spears publicist is downplaying rumors that a passenger in 34F had been stalking the poptart for years, and that may somehow be related to the crash.
It is notable that several witnesses have described the accident with amazing similarity.....such as this fellow, Bruce, a punter from Newcastle: "i seen the Airbus upside down wit flames coming outta both motors". "There was bodies raining down as I watched that big Iranian missile just tear into that poor airplane"
"It was 'orrible" "Poor bastards never had a chance!"
"I blame Tony Blair" commented one onlooker. When politely informed that PM Blair had actually resigned months ago she was heard to retort: " Well, my brother in law works for British Airways and they're investigating a link between the crash and the uber-secret multi-nationalist cabal know as the Illuminati". "Either way" she continued, "they should just close that dangerous airport"
posted by cmdrpiffle at 6:00 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home